Five things you need to know about SA today

1. News 24 says SA’s banks have quietly reintroduced  100% home loans for the cheaper side of the residential property market. Read the story here.

2. And if you’re a lager lout but are into soccer, there’s a cheap wine targetting you in honour of 2010 under the Bafana Bafana brand. The wine comes from Northern Cape producers Oranjerivier Wine Cellars and Afriwines and will go for between R25  and R35. I can’t decide if this marketing genius or from the Far Side. Click here to read the story at The Times.

3. The sardines are making their way up the coast and are soon to hit East London so, East Coast folk, pack your binoculars in the cubby hole and keep an eye out for whales and dolphins. Read this interesting story about killer whales frolicking (with a dolphin carcass) off East London at the Daily Dispatch. Cool pic too!

4. IOL’s Babynet has a fun story about kids bonding more with TV characters like Bob the Builder than their own parents.  My child’s favourite show is Louis, the amazing artistic rabbit who draws things, so I guess that’s OK.  Read the story here.

5.  And on serious matters, Business Day reports that the Judicial Service Commission says it will start its hearing of the dispute between Western Cape Judge President John Hlophe and the judges of the Constitutional Court from scratch after  deciding not to appeal against a high court order.  Read it here. You won’t be able to escape your fate forever, Mr Judge President.

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Five things you need to know about SA today

1. Brett Kebble’s art collection of 133 works goes on auction tonight. It is estimated it will raise R100-million. Wowee! That’s a big number of an SA  art auction. But to put this in perspective, says Business Day, it won’t get anywhere near meeting the debts the late Mr Dodgy Dealer, who  illegally sold R2bn worth of assets belonging to companies he controlled and used the proceeds partly to curry favour with the ANC. SARS is  claiming R183m alone from his estate in unpaid taxes. Read the excellent Business Day story about one of kebble’s oddest legacies.

2. And also at Business Day, there is gloomy story saying that Absa figures show that the average price of homes has dropped the most in 23 years because of the sagging economy. Small houses faired the best, big houses the worst. Read the full story here.

3. Independent Newspaper got 150 SMS bids for the Julius Malema puppet that starred in the withdrawn Nando’s TV advert, says IOL. The two highest bids came from the Nando’s London office and a South African named Leo Chetty (they both bid R25 000), the latter in the hope that Malma will become president one day. Read the story here.

4. By all accounts our president in waiting, Jacob Zuma, was charming and pithy in Parliament yesterday and we hear that will have three first ladies at the plush inauguration in Pretoria on Saturday. Read the News24 story here. But I’m  bit confused here. Doesn’t he only have two wives? (And two girlfirends?) My liewe aarde! South Afirca is going to be an odd place with the Big Chief tearing up the rule book right from the beginning.   You got to hand it to him for goedspa though!

5. And those spy taps are still a hot item. IOL has a story saying that Zuma is not keen to release all of them to the public.  This a wee porblem as police bosses have promised suspended police commisioner Jackie Selebi all the tapes to use in his defence and the DA had applied for copies of all documents and evidence that the NPA had before him when he decided to drop the charges against Zuma as part of the party’s court challenge to the decision. Zuma’s lawyers, meanwhile,  have  demanded that the DA be ordered to hand over R1.2-million in security before it is allowed to legally challenge the NPA decision. This little boomerang is on the arc. Read the story here.

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Five things you need to know about SA today

1. Snuki Zikalala, the SABC’s head of news and current affairs (and seen as in the Thabo Mbeki camp), has got the heave-ho as the SABC board has announced that it will not renew his contract at the end of the month. Journalist Phil Molefe is to take over from Zikalala in an acting capacity from May 1 while they seek a replacement.

2. Here’s an interesting one from MoneyWeb: SA’s CDBs still command reasonably high office rentals, which means there’s demand in the city centres despite some of them (like Joburg and Durban) being pretty dodgy. (Joburg, however, has the highest office vacancy rates of the major cities in SA). Interestingly, it’s more expensive to rent an office at Cape Town’s Waterfront (R180/m²⁾ than in Sandton (R166/m²) in Joburg. Read the story here.

3. It was the coloured vote that gave the DA the decisive leverage needed to clinch its outright majority in the Western Cape, says IOL, with most voters in Mitchells Plain, Ravensmead, Belhar and Athlone voting for the DA. Read the story here.

4. The ANC’s national executive committee is to decide on the premiers in the eight provinces it controls at a meeting tomorrow, says The Times. The announcements should be made at the weekend and there looks set to be changes in six of the eight provinces. Click here to read the full story.

5. And if you live on the country’s east coast and have been wondering why there seem to be so many moths around, here the explanation courtesy of the Daily dispatch: the lack of rain this summer. Because the leaves have not been cooled down during the day by rain, adult moths have been waiting till after dark to lay their eggs in the cooler temperatures and then they spot that light on in your kitchen… Read the story here.

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How much would you pay for a four-bedroomed, four-bathroom pad in Cape Town? R2m, R3m, maybe R4m at a push? Try again, pauper. How about R110m.

I kid you not, that is the asking price for the “Majestic Penthouse” in Sol Kerzner’s new One and Only Hotel in the Waterfront in Cape Town.

A great piece on the The Property Mag website gives us the low-down on the top 10 SA homes pitched at the superich. Sol’s One and Only comes in at number 1, but there are plenty more jaw-droppers. Read the full story

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1. The Judicial Service Commission hearing into allegations by Constitutional Court judges that Cape Judge President John Hlophe tried to influence them in a court proceeding regarding ANC president Jacob Zuma continues today. Hlophe didn’t attend yesterday’s hearing and his legal team staged a dramatic walkout. Quite unprecedented stuff going on here. Click here to read The Times story about yesterday’s preceedings. Today Justices Bess Nkabinde and Chris Jafta are testifying so that will be fascinating.

2. IOL has a story saying former Scorpions head Leonard McCarthy has hit back over the spy tapes saga, saying it wasn’t him but Scorpions director Thanda Mngwengwe and NPA boss Mokotedi Mpshe who decided to prosecute Jacob Zuma in 2007. Read the story here.

3. The Competition Commission has singled out four companies and two industry associations for closer scrutiny in an investigation into anticompetitive practices in the pelagic fishing industry. Pelagic fish include herring, mackerel and sardines. The companies include Oceana and Premier Fishing. Read the Business Day story here.

4. And there are a couple of fun stories at News24 now that we’re all gatvol of the Zuma saga. Click here to read a fun little story about an unnamed (female) ANC councillor and an ID (female) supporter getting into a fight at a party in a Northern Cape dorpie, resulting in part of an ear actually being bitten off.

5. Also on News24, a story to lift the spirits of the squeezed middle class: the number of auctions at the top end of the property market is  on the rise as more wealthy SA homeowners struggle to keep up their bond payments. Ag shame, skatties, having to downgear from Constantia to Bergvliet. Click here to read the story.

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You gotta love the weird things that go on in the lullies of South Africa. Perusing my local newspaper, the Daily Dispatch, today with an eye out for the April Fools’ joke, I came across these two stories. Can you tell which is the joke:

1. A story about a Transkei man who claims he was shot dead in taxi violence in 2001 and has come back from the dead, drawing loads of fans who are walking miles to hear his tale of being abducted by witches after his funeral. Family members later found him wondering the streets of Ngqeleni viilage and took him home. Read the full story here.

or

2. The story saying ANC Youth League president Julius Malema is planning on building a R50-m mansion styled on Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch in East London. Read full story here.

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1. The lawyer for the three doctors who treated Jacob Zuma’s former financial advisor, Schabir Shaik, says they did not sign documents recommending medical parole for Shaik. Read the story at The Times here.

2. Top Durban businessmen have been linked to a child prostitution ring, reports The Witness. There’s no names yet but they have been charged so all will be revealed when they enter their pleas in court. Read the story on News24 here.

3. President Kgalema Motlanthe has (through his spokesman) made the silliest statement of his short presidency: that the government did not want the Dalai Lama to divert attention away from the peace conference he was meant to attend in SA. The less said about this the better. This is topped only in gross hypocrasy by the Chinese government itself. Read this recently posted piece on a Chinese government website about the Dalai Lama (that he’s been striving to send Tibetans back into serfdom). Click here.

4. The SA government has launched a kids website today, says it’s news agency BuaNews. There’s no link to the website from Bua but the Minister in the Presidency, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, said:

As a caring nation, we have an obligation to teach our children about their country and national identity. We can only do that by ensuring that children understand the national symbols.

“We also deemed it important that our children should be afforded an opportunity to understand the responsibilities of the Presidency.

Ahem, ANC president Jacob Zuma needs to do a little surfing of the site, methinks. Read the BuaNews story here.

5. South African businessman Maxim Krok is courting the media to sell his Sandhurst residence in Joburg for R25-million, says MoneyWeb, after spending a record price (R180-million) for an Australian mansion. Read the story here.

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1. We have to make 302 runs today on the last day of the Ozzie Test in Durban. Yikes! It can be done as we’re 244 for four. Come on, guys, give us some heroics!

2. There’s a big storm brewing over the Sunday Times story about Schabir Shaik, Jacob Zuma’s former financial adviser, who got medical parole last week because he’s supposed to be in the final stages of terminal illness. Now the doctor who told the Sunday Times that he had discharged Shaik from hospital four months ago because he was well enough to leave is saying he was misquoted while the health department has complied a report for Health Minister Barbara Hogan on how he was allowed to stay in a private ward in a state hospital for four months at taxpayers’ expense.

3. The percentage of mortgage applications turned down by banks leapt to 61% in February, compared with 41% in the same period last year, reports News24. This means, says property economist Erwin Rode, that you need to get saving for a deposit if you want to buy a house. Best you buy a caravan and park it your parent’s yard if you’re a first-time home buyer and give up those dreams of a holiday home if you have bought a house. Read the full story here.

4. And more gloom on the property front. Business Day reports that house prices are expected to fall more this year before recovering early next year. The price index from one of the big South African mortgage origination firms shows that prices fell a further 0.7% last month compared with a year ago. The average house price was R827553. Read the full story here.

5. Two-thirds of the 62 firefighters at Cape Town International Airport are “poorly trained” and have little or no general firefighting experience, says IOL which has laid its hands on internal airport documents. So no sneaking off for smokes in the toilet at Cape Town airport, people! And stay clear of the area when the puff-happy Germans hit town for the soccer World Cup next year. Read the full story here.

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