Is this Schabir or Mr Hippy Hippy Shaik?

Didn’t Schabir Shaik not learn anything while he was in chookie? We keep hearing that prisons are universities for nefarious behaviour so he should have picked up a thing or two.

This week our president’s former financial adviser, who is on parole because he is in the final stages of terminal illness, has allegedly been spotted playing golf, frequenting an eatery in Umhlanga in Durban and, wait for it, buying balloons. I don’t think Tony Soprano would approve, mate. These are thoroughly woesy activities for the man who got away…

So I’ve put together a few lifestyle tips for Mr Shaik on how to live the high life while lying low. (He already knows how to win friends and influence people.)

1. Get a couple of disguises.  A wig, a false beard and a couple of hippie shirts from Essenwood Market will take you a long way. And there’s a lot of fun to be had spending your mornings playing dress-up.

2. If you’re keen on a round of golf, of course, the hippie look isn’t going to fly. Best you just stick to the  traditional golfer’s uniform of   golf shirt and slacks and buy everyone at the club a round at the 19th hole to keep them happy and away from the press. If this doesn’t work, you do have friends in high places. I’m sure that with a word in the right ear, a few income-tax investigations can be arranged.

3. When it comes to eating out, there’s only one thing for it: Buy the restaurant.

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Pierre de Vos over at Constitutionally Speaking is reminding us every 30 days that President Jacob Zuma’s former financial advisor is still alive after getting paroled from choekie because, we were told, he was in the final stages of terminal illness.  That’s some tenacious, I-won’t-forget-even-if-you-do journalism, Pierre, and you’re law professor. Hacks, hang your heads in shame!

Today it’s been 110 days — just under four months. Shame, poor Mr Shaik — not only is the country waiting for him to peg quite soon but it must just be … killing … him to be keeping a low profile and hang out at home. He was quite the man about town in Durbs before he was convicted for fraud and corruption in 2005 and one would oft hear tales of him living it up at popular venues. Trendy Italian restaurant  Spiga d’Oro in Florida Road was such a popular haunt for Shaik that he got a linguine named after him.

Either he’s getting a lot of takeaway of his relieving his blood pressure by finding convivial eateries off the beaten track and out of sight  of canny Durban hacks like Paddy Harper and Sam Sole. Come on, you Durban hacks, there’s a story for the eating here. Put out some feelers in the restaurant, catering and caberet circuit. Even Mr Delivery might have a few tales to tell.

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It so easy for officials to cry “I was misquoted” when a story for which they were interviewed turns into a bombshell. This happens at the Sunday Times all the time because the paper has such a big national impact.

Megan Power at the Sunday Times is feeling the heat at the moment after the doctor who told her that he discharged Jacob Zuma’s former financial advisor was well enough to leave hospital four months before he got parole on the grounds that he is in the final stages of terminal illness. I’ve worked with Megan in the Durban office of the Sunday Times and she is an extremely thorough, highly principled hack.

Look here, it says Mr Shaik has high blood pressure like half the middle-aged men in South Africa

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